Dancing Bear

It’s about fucking time I reviewed DancingBear. I know; you’re on the edge of your seat for this one. So sit your ass down and check out this amazing review that I’m about to lay down. This is a website you’ve most likely already heard a lot about, and if you haven’t, well, you’ve certainly seen some of their videos on XVideos and similar tube sites, even if you didn’t technically know where they were coming from. Well, I’m about to mansplain to you in great detail how DancingBear is taking over the porn industry and monopolizing their presence on every single porn tube at the same time. This right here is a revolutionary porn site that’s succeeding in bringing a new form of porn to the masses, en masse.

DancingBear are innovators; there are no two ways about it. Their particular genre of porn is all-around exclusive to their brand. There have been many copycats along the way, but that hasn’t stopped the OG boys from doing what they do best – shoving their cocks in women’s faces. There’s so much to be said about DancingBear, and I will try to be as thorough as possible. Keep in mind that I am technically reviewing their website, though I want to look at them as a brand as well, which means, even if you watch these videos for free in a shittier resolution on a third-party website, that still counts. All right, let’s dig into the meat of this fantastic website and figure out why I’m so goddamn excited.

Attack of the Horny Chicks

They’ve got a very original take on a relatively unknown porn genre featuring tons of fully clothed women and men who are completely naked. Sometimes, the men start off wearing clothes; other times, they wear their birthday suits to the party. Did I say party? I meant bar mitzva or something to that degree. Maybe they’re weddings or bachelor parties. I’m not sure. Either way, every scene takes place during a full-blown stripper-themed party with a bunch of male strippers who double as pornstars because women can’t keep their hands off of the goods.

The men that perform are professional strip dancers, hence the name. They’re the bears that the title is referring to. But they’re nothing like the stereotypical gay bears of old. They’re buff as hell and hung from here to the Amazon. They’ve got real pythons, and they’re not afraid to unleash them on the masses. Speaking of masses, everyone else at the party is a woman. I haven’t seen a single dude on the receiving end, and I’m grateful for that.

Fucking on the Dancefloor

So, that’s the general setup. You might have been wondering how naked dudes could possibly appeal to straight dudes, and, well, there’s your explanation. There are dozens of chicks who are engaging the dudes in lewd acts at all times. You’re here to jerk off to them, not the dudes. The strippers are more of a self-insert surrogate for you so that you can experience the goings-on vicariously through them. Well, granted, it would be a lot easier to immerse yourself into the action if the dudes were fat and ugly, but that would tarnish DancingBear’s reputation, so the dudes are all going to look like gym rats instead.

I know it is clear by now that I don’t give a rat’s ass about the dudes in these videos. We’re here for the chicks. So, who are these babes? Well, a good number of them are actual pornstars, which kind of ruins the amateurish vibe of the videos. You want to believe that these are real-life bachelor parties with chicks that have “gone wild,” as we used to say back in the day. However, to an extent, this fantasy survives past the knowledge that some of the girls are professionals. They’re not all professionals, though. That’s the best part.

Everyone’s Super Horny

A lot of these babes are indeed amateurs, inexperienced in the ways of the filmed flesh. They’re random-ass women that were invited to these all-you-can-drink parties where they get wet and wild with dudes that they’ve never met. They don’t technically have to join in on the action, making the scene all the more interesting. In an average clip, you’ll get around 50 different babes, but you’ll only see a few of them actually getting down and dirty. So, how does it work?

The parties all start with the dudes putting on a show for the ladies. They dance, they shake their asses, and they whip out their cocks. Then, the chicks go absolutely apeshit and start throwing their clothes all over the place. Most videos also begin with the chicks sucking the dudes off for fun. They’re really trying to sell you on the angle of the action being spontaneous and purely recreational. It’s supposed to look like no one’s being paid or instructed to do anything. You want to believe that these bitches really can’t keep their hands or mouths away from cock.

This kind of casual sucking and fucking around eventually turns into a full-blown orgy, except the girls act the way straight girls act in real life. i.e., they don’t touch each other too much. They mostly flock around the dude and beg to be the next person to get fucked. There isn’t a lot of lesbian action here. I suspect they wanted to sell this porn as a purely heterosexual project, so they keep it, boy/girl, to that end.

Amateurs and Pornstars

Apart from a few recognizable names like Remi LaCroix, whom I’ve seen in DancingBear videos before, there aren’t that many familiar faces between the chicks or the dudes in these videos. That further bolsters the amateur vibe and makes these videos look like they were taken in secret, with some sort of button camera during an actual rave party or whatever.

It is worth mentioning that the actual parties are being thrown for and by DancingBear and the girls are guests. I guess you can compare these parties to the kind of shit Hugh Hefner used to get up to at his mansion back in the day. They’re sex parties, but no one’s forced to participate. It’s all very lax and casual.

The Dudes Seriously Sweat for the Money

One thing that absolutely blows my mind is how long these dudes go without blowing their loads. An average DancingBear video lasts an hour and a half, and there are hundreds if not thousands of these bad boys on the site. This means these dudes have pulled the same impressive feat that many times over – fucking chicks and being sucked off for more than an hour on end without blowing a load. That’s impressive stuff. Don’t get me wrong – I, too, can hold my own in that regard, but it’s still impressive to see how hard these dudes work.

They’re also pretty damn good strippers, for what it’s worth. I don’t think it matters much since most people are here to fap to the girls, but I have to give credit where credit is due. These guys work really hard at making videos that are much more interesting to watch. They’re always in a good mood, and they’re doing their best to keep the action flowing. Then again, I, too, would be cracking a wide-ass smile like them if dozens of women were sucking me off at once.

The Site is Shit, The Videos Are Lit

All right, let’s get to the painful part of every paid website, the money. DancingBear is part of a vast network that features a ridiculous number of websites, including but not limited to BangBros and Haze Her. You’re very much looking at triple-A productions here. That’s why there’s the occasional recognizable pornstar in these videos. These sites all cost around $20 a month, with some discounts and promotional offers that aim to get you to pay more money in the long run.

I bet you’re wondering whether DancingBear is worth the money. Well, yes, sort of. The content they produce is definitely worth the money they’re asking for, but the site is highly disappointing. It’s too damn slow! I’ve seen porn tubes with faster video load times than this. I couldn’t even swap video resolutions without having to reload the entire damn page. That’s not acceptable in this day and age.

That’s sort of my bottom line here. DancingBear’s overall design and site optimization are ridiculously subpar, considering you pay money hand over fist to access these videos. On top of that, they’ve even got the audacity to run dynamic ads on the site, even after you’ve logged in as a paying customer. It seems to me like they’re a bit too money-hungry for their own good. They’re lucky the content they’re making is worth the sweat; otherwise, I wouldn’t give them the time of day.