EroVoice

Ero Voice! Podcasts have taken media by storm. No one takes a jog or cleans the house without listening to one. Let me ask you this. Have you ever jogged down a busy street while listening to an anime bitch named Ling Ling fart into your mouth? If not, then you haven’t lived. Erovoice is here to help you get the most out of life with a massive catalog of ASMR porn.

Nothing embodies rule 34 more than anime. If you can think of it and someone can record it, I bet 10,000 dudes are milking themselves to it right now. I’m a porn Jedi, but no matter how much I fap, something new surprises me with every visit. As long as the creative spirit lives on in humanity, Erovoice will be there to collect the most indecent of it.

Erovoice is young compared to how long ASMR anime porn has been kicking about. Consequently, they got to enjoy some of the lessons learned the hard way by other sites. Boy, isn’t it beautiful how porn is ever-evolving? Imagine how men will be draining their pricks in the future. I’ve already preordered my fully functional fuckbot from tesla. I’ll be able to load a new voice into that slut every day. I’m here if they need test subjects. Pssst, could you make the bitch cook and clean also? That would be nice, wouldn’t it?

Anybody old enough to remember Myspace will recognize the general Erovoice aesthetic. The functional portion of the site lays over a starry background. There’s a poster up top with links to social media. The meat of the site begins with a horizontal menu bar on which 3 of the buttons are essential. Those buttons are “home,” “tag,” and “circle.” Below that is a double row of downloads, sorted by new, for you to begin injecting into your lizard brain. I bet you shit sacks don’t even use your frontal lobes anymore.

To the right of all these chatty, cock thirsty cartoon vixens is a chatbox. It’s here where the masses share their favorite bible verses and inspirational quotes. Ha! Fuck that! People are talking about face fucking those tiny, little anime mouths. How does she gag on my cock and whisper in my ear at the same time? Clicking on a comment takes you to the audio referenced so you can get right to work. I was able to find some suggested selections that stole the semen from the last guy’s ball bag. Shit, if it isn’t broken, don’t fix it; beat your dick to it.

A prime selling point of Erovoice is the all-download format. The site hosts no audio player. This is an opportunity to start or grow your personal library of carnal desires. Downloading from the site is safe and secure. You will weave through some pop-ups to get there, though.

NO GUESSING GAMES HERE

There is a wide selection of titles, and good god, are these titles a doozy. The Japanese don’t fuck around with flowery bullshit language. These titles describe what exactly your twisted ass is about to get hard to. Such classics as “My Friends Mom Makes Fun of my Dick Along with Other Erotic Teasing.” And who could forget “I’ll Pay for my Room with my Pussy - Runaway Girl Learns of Love and Pleasure.” With names like these, who needs descriptions? I was rock hard before I even started listening.

Clicking on the download button toward the bottom of each title will take you to a new screen. Downloads usually have a couple of different options to choose from. I particularly enjoy that they include a URL for the original artist. This way, if I hear something that sends my dick to the Promised Land, I can find more shit like it. Plus, if you got a dollar burning a hole in your pocket, you can often support the creator through that link also.

THE CIRCLE OF LIFE

The tag list is short and meandering. It seems the developers put most of their efforts into what they call the “circle.” I’m not sure why they call it the circle, considering it’s not round. In actuality, the circle is an alphabetized tag list. This is great for locating some proper jerk material. I also found it defining some of the audio files that have titles in Japanese. One can only glean so much from the provided title cover when big sloppy tits are blocking my view.

Fuck me, where was I again? I had to run off and listen to some big sloppy tits flapping about for a sec. Scrolling through the tabs, you’re going to find some of the usual, popular anime ASMR porn. It’s got your binaural and your masochism. What’s there not to love? Fortunately, these do not get in the way of all the niche shit we perverts are here for. Save your overdone and cliche student-teacher storylines. Instead, give me my slave girls with extra mouths and creaky chairs with big, fat fucking tits on them. It’s the only way to take advantage of the unlimited possibilities audio provides. Let it take your imagination to new heights.

It only took a few minor changes to take the desktop experience down to mobile. The menu went vertical, and the comment box slipped below the video selection columns. You’re going to get about the same functionality out of both desktop and mobile. I mean, who cares how full my external hard drive is when my dicks popping out of my pants at work? The boss still refuses to let me turn my melon-breasted secretary into a chair that bitches about my small dick!

CAN'T STOP, WON'T STOP

Erovoice drops between 12 and 25 files daily. You’re going to need a lot of dick pills to work your way through every release. But, hey, don’t threaten me with a good time. In fact, I just ran across a crowd favorite. “Raped by my Plump Sister-In-Law while my wife sleeps.” Pardon me while I vacuum my room.

Though Erovoice does have social media accounts, it does not maintain them. For the most part, they are in Japanese anyway. The site lets you comment on files, and that’s all I need. I’m communicating enough with you degenerates here on Porndude. I need time to bop my nonsense if I’m going to sit and write about it all day. It’s called the duty to my readership.

There is a discord, and it’s pretty active. You can ask questions, make requests, or share and discuss toon queefs. I talk shit, but I enjoy hearing from like-minded perverts. It gives us jerk addicts a chance to exchange trade secrets. English and Japanese are both represented, so don’t skip a visit because you can’t read kanji.

MINOR FLAWS

There’s a lot to love about Erovoice. The constant stream of new content is more than even I can keep up with. The site is download-focused, and the quality is stellar. I can feel the pussy lips graze my earlobes and the dinner plate nipples get erect. Fuck, I’ve had to buy 3 external hard drives since starting this article. The circle puts content into the palm of your hands or at least the singular hand since you will only have one of them free.

I can’t say enough about the titles. They somehow leave both very little and very much to the imagination. “Evil Magic Warrior Master Makes Her Disciple A Pitiful Masochist” is half a fucking Spark Notes summary. I wish all porn titles, ASMR or not, doubled as foreplay as these do.

Nothing is immune to improvement, and I have a few gripes about Erovoice. First, the ads. Banners don’t bother me at all, but pop-ups kill me. They get in the way, take too long to load, and god forbid they have sound. If the developers stuck to banners, it would be a vast improvement.

While the titles are plenty descriptive, a short preview would be clutch. Run me through some highlights before I take the time to download your content. That could be especially helpful for stuff with no English labels. I get the concept is to avoid on-site video hosting, but give me a little taste.

Speaking of language, all the best anime ASMR porn comes from Asia. As such, it’s no surprise English is a second language for whoever maintains the site. I will not bitch much because I like that the content is coming straight from the titty and into my ears. That said, shit is hard to read sometimes. As I mentioned before, some files only have a Japanese title. I’m sure everyone out west would gain from English translations for everything. We like loud anime fuck fests also, damnit!

None of my complaints will ever keep me from visiting, though. The language barrier gives me a sense I’m getting the freshest fish. Even downloading without a preview is kind of exhilarating. Who knows what I may find.

Japan is producing the most modern porn on earth these days. In a 4K world, it might be easy to forget how fun being demeaned in whispers is. Perhaps someday America will keep up with our brothers in jerking to the east. Until then, Japan, please don’t ever change.