HQporner

HQ porner is exactly what it sounds like—a site dedicated to high-quality porn aka HQPorn and often misspelled as "hdporner". And it does not disappoint at all in that regard. I fucking love porn sites that are no-bullshit, and this is definitely one of them. From the moment you land on the homepage, you have immediate access to the best scenes from the web’s top production studios. I’m talking Brazzers, Reality Kings, Penthouse, and Playboy, just to name a few.

The site boasts about how “You can find more than one hundred thousand various HD porn videos on HQ Porner, to anybody's taste,” and this is very true. Well, maybe not to anybody’s taste. Pedophiles can rot in hell (or spend the rest of their lives getting ass fucked in prison as somebody’s bitch, and then rot in hell). You sick fucks should stop reading this review right now and go put a bullet in your brains.

I Like My Porn Sites Like I Like My Women: Simple and Easy to Use

The site is well designed, easy to navigate, and convenient. Whether you have no fucking idea what you’re looking for—you just know you’re horny and want some HD videos—you are looking for a specific chick getting fucked in a specific scene (or position), or you saw an ad for a paid video on your go-to tube site and you have some basic search terms in mind, HQporner has you covered. Right under the prominently featured search bar are a few suggested phrases that other "porners" are searching right now.

When I visited the site they listed, gangbang handjob group sex, Jhenna Greey [a popular shemale pornstar], and big tits handjob tattooed,” but the suggestions will change, based on what is being searched, every time you refresh the page. For someone like me who goes to a site already hard with no particular game plan in mind, these suggestions are really helpful.

Another option HQ Porner provides, in case you don’t want to browse based on keywords, is to search by the studio. Just click the appropriately labeled tab on the menu bar, and you’ll find a page with a list of popular production studios. Each studio has its own aesthetic, so this can be really convenient if you know what type of scene or film you’re looking for.

One aspect of this that I found a little disappointing, though, is that they do not have every studio listed that they provide content from. They have a ton of Brazzers content, for example, yet Brazzers is not featured in their “Studios” section. What the fuck’s up with that? It seems kind of lazy if you ask me.

Going back to the ease of navigation and simple design of the site, though, there is a column to the left that follows you on every page, allowing you to access whatever you want with minimal effort.

In this neat and sectioned-out column, you can click on the most viewed videos (of the month, or the week), you can test your luck with the “random porn” button (allowing you to randomly shuffle through all of their content), you can filter content to only show 1080p HD or 60 FPS videos (Frames Per Second, not Faps Per Second), and you can conveniently filter by category, girl, or studio (all without leaving the page you’re on). The only thing that rivals the outstanding quality of the videos on hqporner are the super convenient features and high level of organization the site provides.

Nobody Puts Granny in a Corner. Except for Hqporner…

Another organizational feature that hqporner has that I have not seen anywhere else is that they segregate their “mature” content. I fucking love this. I have never been able to get off on the idea of watching a bunch of old, wrinkly biddies getting fucked in their shriveled up, crusty snatches; always found it to be kind of a buzzkill to be sifting through a bunch of gorgeous 21-year-old girls when, out of fucking nowhere, there’s a granny getting taking it hard in the ass.

Now I’m thinking of grandmas, and, inevitably, my own grandma, and, boom, no more boner, just like that; session ruined. I’m glad to see that someone else has anticipated that frustration and taken measures to separate videos by age!

Conversely, though, if you are disgusted by the thought of seeing hot young sluts, and all you want are cougars, you can easily click a button at the bottom of the site to switch over to “All Mature” mode. This might come in handy if you are getting up there in age yourself and aren’t particularly into the idea of fucking girls who are a third your age. Or maybe you’re just a dirty GILF hunter. Either way, the option’s there and easily accessible.

My Other Favorite “F” Word

The best part of hqporner.com? They provide nothing but HD content from all the premium paid sites for absolutely free. And I’m not talking content from premium paid sites the way Pornhub or Redtube have seven-minute excerpts from premium scenes either. Hqporner provides full scenes, with absolutely no reduction in video or audio quality.

A Small Price to Pay…

There are only a few downsides to hqporner: 1.) the age-old problem of ads, and 2.) it would be nice to be able to view more related videos without having to jump to a new page. Regarding the ads, I will admit that I have seen much worse in terms of density, invasiveness, and grossness of content, but they still piss me off and take my head out of the game. To Hqporner’s credit, though, the ads are sparse and they most likely aren’t gonna deflate your hard-on.

I would like to see Hqporner embrace some elements of the tube site design. Being able to scroll through more than three related videos when you get bored with the one you’re watching would be nice—kind of like Pornhub’s “load more” feature. I don’t like having to switch tabs or do too much mouse-work while I’m spanking it. In fact, this is a lesson I think most porn sites could really benefit from learning: don’t make me interrupt my fap because of lazy coding!

Having said that, I think those two gripes are relatively small prices to pay for bottomless premium HD content. Especially seeing as a subscription to just one of the many sites Hqporner provides content from will run you, minimum, $10 a month. I guess I can look the other way on my usual blood-curdling hatred of ads in this case.

In Defense of Paying for Porn

It’s not that there aren’t benefits to going legit and having a few subscriptions to premium paid content (in addition to no ads)—it’s just a fact that you’ll get content not accessible anywhere else on the web, as well as brand-spankin' new scenes with your favorite sluts every week the very second that they are released. Plus, we gotta keep our lovely video vixens paid somehow!

With that in mind, I recommend using Hqporner as a means to an end. Sample all of the studios, familiarize yourself with their work and decide which ones you like best. Once you settle on a few, go fucking buy a subscription. Don’t be a cheap fuck; porn doesn’t make itself.

And, with that, that is exactly what I am going to do. I’m in the market for a new subscription, and I’ve always wanted to really explore what Brazzers has to offer. But, before I shell out $120 over the next year, I think I’ll check out a few videos on Hqporner first, see if it’s going to be worth it. Until next time, happy fapping, assholes.