Semenax

I thought Semenax was going to be a porn comic about a barbarian with a raging sword of flesh, hacking and slashing his way through big-titted orc sluts, elven nymphettes and probably some furry fox bitches in keeping with the typical formula. It turns out I was wrong. Semenax.com definitely still falls into a niche, one that may well be of more interest to the random pervert than some homemade hentai for neckbeards. What’s more appealing to you, a cum-based fantasy weapon or a real-life boost in your own ejaculatory power?

Semenax is a dietary supplement that aims to make you blow bigger loads with more intensity. The company that makes the stuff has been in business for nearly twenty years now, and Semenax has been on the market for over a decade. That longevity itself tells you a lot; they’re definitely more established than the sketchy, tweaked-out dude who’s been selling me Viagra and blow behind 7-11. Despite their age, it’s really within the last year that their popularity has exploded. I thought people weren’t getting laid during the pandemic, but it looks like jizz-booster sales are way up. Somebody call Goku, because their visitor levels are over 9,000 a day and stacking up quick.

Wild Orgasmic Contractions, You Say?

The Semenax website has a familiar look. There seem to be two schools of thought when it comes to selling any kind of male enhancement product. There’s the subtle formula of sites like ForHims, that try to keep it classy while hinting and dancing around what it is they’re really talking about. Then there are places like this, where they’re trying to make more direct appeals to your masculinity. The header image features a shirtless dude with some babe’s legs wrapped around his body and her nails digging into his back.

It’s not just the imagery that speaks directly to your testicles and lizard brain. There’s also the all-caps, bold screaming claims about increasing the intensity of orgasms and INCREASE SEMEN VOLUME! Other checkmarked claims at the top of the screen promise longer orgasms, better orgasm control, and the ability to tease your partner with wild orgasmic contractions.

The dork in the video calls it an “all-natural supplement, designed to take your orgasms to an all-time high.” The commercial runs a little over a minute long, and frankly doesn’t add anything to the conversation except some dude holding the bottle and making the same promises I already heard. Of more interest are the hard numbers listed a little further down the landing page.

Hard Numbers About Hard Dicks

One of the very first things I noticed at Semenax.com were the big, bold words CLINICALLY PROVEN*. Maybe I’m cynical from all the boner pills I bought on free tubes that only gave me rashes, burning orgasms and medical-emergency priapism, but I immediately assumed that asterisk meant it was a bullshit claim. I scrolled past the personal testimonials to find more about this supposed research, and what do you know? Semenax really does have some hard science behind its effectiveness.

A couple of the big takeaways from the study were that Semenax users showed a 20% or more increase in jizz load volume compared to placebo, as well as a higher reporting of orgasm intensity. I’m genuinely curious about the methodology, because I’m imagining milking machines, sperm scales and automated porno injection systems.

The clinical results speak more to me than the happy men all over Semenax.com, posing with their blue-labeled plastic bottles beside testimonial quotes. I’m pretty cynical about that shit, because it’s really fucking common for companies to run a reviews-for-products scheme. People will say anything for a free microwave or bottle of dick pills, even if the product is bunk. I’m not saying Semenax does that, but I’m skeptical about a grinning 21-year-old saying a male enhancement product “completely flipped the game” without first saying he had a medical issue with his ding-a-ling.

I am a little more inclined to believe the wrinkly old dudes on the page, just from a reproductive health standpoint. There are elderly dudes bragging about the increase in sensitivity and longevity, talking about how hardcore their cumshots have become, and saying they’re blowing double-sized loads. If true, those are some impressive statements, so I decided to do a little digging to find out what this shit is made out of.

Snake Oil, Truffle Butter or Something Better?

PT Barnum famously said there’s a sucker born every minute, and I think about that a lot when I’m reviewing the free tubes and my browser’s blowing up with ads promising better sex through chemistry. The placebo effect can often work magic even if you’re just taking snake oil or mystery chemicals made in a Chinese lab, but Semenax has a number of ingredients proven to have an effect on male reproductive health.

A couple of ingredients stood out immediately. There’s Epimedium Sagittatum, aka horny goat weed. They’ve been selling this as a boner enhancer for decades, with some research indicating it works like a low-level Viagra. There’s also L-arginine, an amino acid which I can say from experience gives a noticeable boner boost by increasing natural levels of nitric oxide. (I’ve also read a number of people online swearing by a combination of L-arginine and maritime pine bark extract as a natural version of Cialis.)

Piggybacking on the L-arginine in Semenax are L-Lysine and L-Carnitine. There’s enough evidence for these two that they’re often recommended to supplement the big-name prescription ED pills. It’s thought they stimulate testosterone production and increase the number of little spermies swimming in your nutsack.

Rounding out the formula are Swedish Flower Pollen and Butea Superba, two ingredients with considerably less science to back them up. The pollen is rumored to heal a variety of ailments, including some prostate health benefits, but there aren’t many studies to back it up. Likewise with Butea Superba, which has been taken as a traditional libido booster in Thailand. One study started off with promising results that put it ahead of sildenafil, but by the end of the study, they weren’t able to measure any effects at all.

Honestly, to my ears it sounds like a few medically backed ingredients rounded out with a little bit of snake oil. I know that sounds like a poor endorsement, but it ain’t all bad—it’s just a third bad. Packing active ingredients with some lesser constituents is a very common practice, and I feel like Semenax does better than a lot of the competition. Go on Amazon and you’ll find dozens of horny goat weed formulations with the most absurd, bullshit added fillers that definitely don’t do anything. “We traveled around the world to fill these erectile enhancement capsules with Indonesian sawdust, Arabian sand and fresh grave dirt straight from the bayous of Louisiana.”

So Is It Worth It or Not?

As I clicked around Semenax.com, I kept getting a message about their SUPER SALE. It’s one of those countdown deals with a timer that counts down the hours before you’re shit out of luck. I’ve seen those timers enough times to know it’s probably bullshit, and you can likely come back tomorrow for the same discount. For what it’s worth, the countdown code will knock 15% off the price.

I clicked my way to the purchase page, and of course, they try to sell me a yearly supply for $400, saying it’s the best value. Well, I’m not dropping any Benjamins on dick pills without trying them first. I learned my lesson the hard way. A month's supply will run you sixty bucks, or about $2 a day.

Sixty bucks does sound kind of like a gamble for dick pills, especially when you can get legit Viagra prescribed and shipped for less than half that over at ForHims. (Check out my review here at ThePornDude!) Of course, the intended effects of Semenax are a bit different than Vitamin V. This is ostensibly for bigger loads, not for curing your soft wiener.

While Semenax.com does have some quality hype, some strong science and some proven ingredients behind it, I think the biggest selling point is probably their 67-day money-back guarantee. In the event it does turn out to be a crock of shit or simply doesn’t work for you, you can return your empty containers for a full refund. While your mileage is going to vary with any type of male enhancement product, this one sounds promising and can be test-driven for a couple of months without any real investment.