Smutty

Goddamnit. I just got banned from Facebook again. I was under the impression they changed their stance on breastfeeding photographs. After all, it’s only natural. I guess the two dudes getting their fill of milk were a couple of decades older than your typical titty-sucker, but who am I to question a mother’s instinct? Anyway, I think I’m going to try posting it to Smutty, where they let you post all kinds of sexy shit.

According to the introductory blurb at the top of the front page, Smutty.com is “a simple, collaboratively curated collection of arousing pictures and videos.” As a guy who routinely gets kicked off most social media platforms, I like the sound of that. I’m apparently not the only one: as of this writing, the site was getting around 4 million visits a month. Let’s see what kind of NSFW material all those perverts are sharing.

Like Pinterest, but with More Anal Sex

Smutty’s got a modern look, with most pages consisting of a wall of images broken into columns. It reminds me a lot of Pinterest, but instead of recipes for Jell-O salad and ideas for wedding scrapbooks, I see a lot of naked girls and porn scenes. Right from the front page, I can see their users have good taste. There are stunning MILFs showing off their titties and candid shots of sexy volleyball players with their asses hanging out. Amateur girls taking mirror selfies in lingerie are presented side-by-side with big-name pornstars like Valentina Nappi.

I’m usually #bored by all the #hashtags on social media sites. I don’t give a fuck about your #TBT or #MCM, and I’m tired of being called out in #MeToo posts. The tags at Smutty are different, though. Some might call them smutty.

The hashtags here are more akin to the tags on your typical porn video site. Click one, and you’ll get a lot more good stuff, instead of more whining about politics or weight-loss photos where everybody is still really fat. Give me #crotchlesspanties over #instagood, #MandyMuseGif before #fashion.

There are a fair number of dick shots on the front page. I ain’t a huge fan of seeing a guy’s big ol’ dong taking center stage without a sweet lady hole to put it in, but what can I say? That’s just part of how social media works. Most of the users here are straight dudes posting hot broads in various states of undress and compromise, but some are always going to enjoy a dick. Sometimes it’s attached to a dude, other times to a shemale, but it’s hard to avoid.

Smutty is clearly set up to encourage user interactivity. There are links and buttons in the sidebars driving people to new, hot, and trending curators and hashtags, with a big button in the corner for users to post new content. It’s immediately accessible, and I feel like most users will be able to dig right in without having to struggle figuring out how it works.

But How Does It Work?

Even the user-friendliest sites have some documentation, which is another thing that makes them user-friendly. Smutty’s got a pretty goddamn simple, straightforward set of instructions under the Get Started link in the right sidebar. If you’d rather just browse with your pants around your ankles, trying to get off before the librarian calls the police, you don’t have to do any of the shit they’d like you to.

They really want you to vote on the amateur teens, professional lesbians and hardcore porn scenes people are posting on the site all day long. That sorts the best of the newest shit into the Trending and Hot sections. When the good shit rises to the top, it increases the overall fappability of the website.

Smutty users are also encouraged to add value to the posts by commenting up to 140 characters below. They mention leaving “the perfect caption” or pointing out who the model is, which sounds like perfect uses for a comment section. Of course, anybody who’s visited the comment section of a porn site knows this probably has limited value. I don’t see a lot of the typical “OMFG ur so hot, do u want 2 fuck” comments you see on the tubes, nor do I see much of anything. Most of the comments on Smutty seem to be hashtags, though user mentions (@username) are also permitted.

That hashtag system is really well-implemented, though. Any user on the site can follow any hashtags or create their own. Do you like seeing a #fuckslut with #bignipples taking a #selfie, or would you rather see an #amateur #hotwife #cuckold her husband with an #interracial #bigcock?

You can follow all the hashtags you like and all the users that post your preferred type of smut. Once you’ve got your selections dialed in, the site will serve you a nearly non-stop buffet of exactly the type of user-contributed porno that gets you off the hardest. That’s a good way to get rid of the giant dicks on the front page and replace them with redheads whose curtains match the drapes and lesbian bondage porn.

Finally, Smutty’s Get Started instructions tell users to post something new. It’s another simple process that begins with hitting the Add button in the corner. While unregistered visitors can browse the site to their heart’s content, any kind of interaction like this requires a free account.

User-Contributed Porn All Day and Night

I checked out Smutty’s New page to see how quickly users were adding content to the site. What I found was good news for anybody who loves a non-stop stream of amateur and professional porno pouring onto their computer or mobile device. These fuckers are posting material day and night.

It’s one of those pages that you can just keep refreshing and see new stuff every single time. Posts are broken down by the second; just three seconds before I typed this, somebody posted another shot in a series of trap photos. She’s a passable broad in blue lingerie, so it’s a shame about the big cock dangling between her legs. Unless you like that, in which case you’ve got some jacking off to do.

The format does seem to lend itself better to still photos and looping GIFs than actual videos. I scrolled through a couple of hours worth of recent posts and didn’t find any vids, though it’s possible there’s been some kind of glitch or change lately. I checked out their new tube section, and it seemed like all the videos were added two weeks ago.

I hope they work that out and start getting more fresh video content coming in, because I like the look of the tube section. It’s fairly simple right now, with only a few sorting options based on sexual orientation. The “Popular Hashtags” section of the sidebar is empty, which leads me to believe it’s a work in progress. Given how well the format works for delivering custom-tailored streams of dirty images, I think it could do the same for videos.

My only real complaint about the site is pretty minor. I always have my spam-blocking plugin when I visit porn sites as part of my daily research, but it doesn’t catch everything. I got a pop-up from a stray click at the beginning of my visit and some fairly unobtrusive sidebar ads as I browsed the site. It ain’t a big deal, and pretty much expected on any kind of free adult site. They’ve got to pay for the bandwidth somehow, and it ain’t cheap with that many visitors shaking their dicks at the site.

Smutty.com will appeal both to perverts eager to share their own favorite spank material, and those who just appreciate a free, user-curated collection of smut to crank it to. The system is designed, so the best stuff rises to the top, and it’s easy as hell to create your own custom feed of your preferred content. The site leans toward amateur photos right now, but you can find whatever your heart desires, from anal videos to Simpsons hentai to MILFs doing it in public.