Assylum

Once in a while I review a website so disgusting, so depraved, so utterly fucked up that it changes my life for the better. Assylum.com is one of those sites. 5 seconds into their home page and I fell in love. First of all, I saw that they heavily feature Charlotte Sartre, a whore so talented and ruthless, she deserves her own genre in porn. Secondly, all the girls on the site go above and beyond every perversion that you can think of to satisfy every single one of your secret disgusting fetishes.

This is the most disgusting website I’ve seen in a very long time, and I fucking love it.

Welcome to the Asylum

Assylum is not just a porn site, OK? It is a scientific experiment and a loving community. Basically, the girls on the site are all roleplaying as patients at an insane asylum, where the cure for every insanity lies in increasingly depraved sex acts. These girls insert cum in every orifice they have, and no I don’t just mean pussy and ass here folks. They get cum inserted straight into their eyes. Now that’s some fucked up shit that I can get behind.

The idea is that all of these fucked up sex acts are experiments that are testing how much they could help a given patient’s mental health. If she complains, give her more cum. If she complains after that, stuff the cum up her ass, fish it back out and force-feed it to her. Absolutely nothing is off-limits.

The Chief of Medicine

The character of Dr. Mercies, played by the only male pornstar I could see on the site, is in charge of helping the girls with treatment. He’s also got some female staff on hand, but to be honest, they take just as much punishment as the patients. More often than not he’ll have the nurse extract cum out of someone’s asshole, then swirl it around in her mouth and spit it back out onto or inside another patient. Truly this is the place where dreams come true.

Dr. Mercies does not hold back with his experiments. If these girls are to be punished, they get hurt pretty hard and they get mercilessly humiliated. You’ll be seeing tons of enemas, cum insertions, hardcore penetration and toys that are way too large to be used safely by civilians. But that’s the degree of dedication that Dr. Mercies has for his patients. If they’re not broken and crying, doused in cum by the end of the video, he hasn’t done his job.

Junior Staff, Research and Development

The site’s members pretty much role play as the sick fucks behind the scenes that decide how the girls are to be humiliated and treated next. The forum on Assylum, nicknamed “The Lab” is a place where any of you could suggest types of torture and sexual depravity that the girls are to be subjected to, and Dr. Mercies jumps right on it.

That’s what makes the Assylum such a magical place – The people decide how these whores will suffer next, and the suggestions are reaching “Human Centipede” levels of insanity.

The Patients

I mentioned that Charlotte Sartre is one of the most prolific patients on the site and personally I’d pay for a subscription just for the pleasure of seeing her. The woman is a walking legend. But she’s not the only patient on the site – far from it. In fact, there are over 60 patients to choose from, each nastier than the last.

And most of these girls have done more than one scene, each of which has a unique focus. Beyond that, each girl has her own insanity theme as well. I saw a bitch on here whose entire shtick was that she wears a pig nose and pretends to be a swine. If that’s not dedication, I don’t know what is.

Finally, if any of you degenerates know Charlotte Sartre, let her know I’m single and tell her to hit me up. I believe I got the cure for what ails her.

Behind the Curtain

On top of the mind-blowingly disgusting smut that Assylum brings to your home, they also go out of their way to record performer commentary for their videos, so that you can watch the vids with a voiceover from the girl who’s being wrecked on screen. I’ve never actually tried that before, but it has officially become my new favorite thing.

There are also a bunch of videos from some of the girls, showing them in a completely normal environment, just sort of hanging around and doing crafts and shit. It’s really fun to see my favorite pornstars hoover cum out of each other’s assholes and then swap to a video in the same room, with them talking about their favorite tea flavors.

If you’re not already a disgusting pervert, this site will definitely get you on track.

The Site, The Vids, The Forum

You can tell that Assylum was made by someone who was as fucked in the head as he was talented, because it’s original as all hell. I’ve never seen a site with a similar interface. In fact, their entire design is built around colors and aesthetics that have to do with mental facilities. – They’re really trying hard to sell you on the “asylum” vibe.

You don’t watch “videos” you watch “sessions” and you don’t discuss new video ideas on the forum, rather, you “pitch punishment methods in the lab”. The damn website is part RPG for fuck’s sake.

The subscription… well, there’s a reason you can’t buy diamonds with bronze coins. This insane level of dedication, quality and most importantly cum-in-eye insertions, come at a price. There’s a $27.50 monthly subscription and a $33.00 monthly premium subscription.

There are no discount options for either and you can’t pay ahead. You buy a month; you get a month. That’s it. If any other porn site pulled this shit I’d mail them my cum sock and an angrily worded letter. But, since it’s a website that is literally inventing a new genre of depraved porn that gives me diamond-hard boners, I’ll let it slide.

Hell, I’d even recommend that you get the premium membership right away. The difference is that premium members get to download the videos in 4K, whereas normal members only have access up to 1080p. I wholeheartedly recommend the 4K vids, if you have a 4K display that is, because they’re fucking life-changing.

And I gotta mention that you can’t watch videos on their site. You can watch previews and access the forum, but the actual videos are direct file links – meaning you gotta download them to your computer to watch them locally.

Personally, I couldn’t give a flying fuck about this distinction because I prefer to download high-quality porn to my computer anyways – streaming 4K video is stupid and a waste of good bandwidth. If you’re heading on over to Assylum right now, remember your pal ThePornDude, and start with Charlotte Sartre. Tell her I sent you.

The Bottom Line

I know everything there is to know about porn. I’ve seen the illegal shit, I’ve seen the hidden shit. I like fucked up videos of girls getting degraded, especially if the girls are in on the joke. These girls, in particular, are absolute goddesses. Let’s be honest, if you’re gonna take cum in your eye, ass, mouth, and pussy and swap them back forth with your friends, you deserve to be praised and showered in money (and also cum).

I simply can’t believe that this isn’t some illegal underground smut collective. This is a legitimate porn site made by people that really care about what they do and want to make a difference in this world. I sure fucking hope that these girls are being paid through the nose, because that’s the only way they’re gonna get the smell of semen out of their nostrils.