PureVPN

Sometimes a Pure VPN is all you need to help unlock all those impure websites you love shaking your dick at. Incidentally, there’s a Virtual Private Network with that very name that I’ll be checking out today. They call themselves The Best VPN Money Can Buy, but any good hustler knows how to hype their product. I’ll judge for myself whether they’re actually better than the other guys.

They do have some numbers going in their favor. For one thing, they’ve been around since 2007, which is fucking forever in Internet years. Some companies stick around, but they’re barely hanging on, but PureVPN.com gets nearly 17,000 visitors a day. They’ve also got a 4.8 rating on TrustPilot, so it looks like damn near everybody who tries them out is happy with their service. That begs the question: can they satisfy ThePornDude?

What the Fuck is a Pure VPN?

I guess I should start this off with a quick summary for the newbies. In a nutshell, a Virtual Private Network routes all your Internet traffic through a secure tunnel between you and whatever website you’re trying to view. In this way, PureVPN improves your Internet security and makes you basically anonymous online.

Here’s a quick example. Yesterday, I reviewed a big amateur porn forum for ThePornDude. Registration was mandatory to view the nudes, but I tried to avoid spam by signing up with a fake email address service. That got my IP address blacklisted immediately, so I wasn’t able to register even when I gave them a real email address. Well, at least not until I connected through a VPN, hiding the blacklisted IP address.

PureVPN.com doesn’t just mask your identity to the websites you’re visiting. It also makes you invisible to all the usual suspects trying to spy on you and collect your personal information whenever you’re using the Internet. You might think I’m talking about malicious hacker apps and malware, and sure, that’s part of it, but the real worry is with the “legit” services treating you like a product. Without a VPN, all kinds of machines are collecting your data to sell; Google and Facebook are notorious for it, and even your ISP may be getting in on the action.

Oh, speaking of ISPs, Pure VPN is a good way of getting Comcast to stay the fuck out of your business. Many consumers don’t even realize that the big Internet companies often throttle your connection speeds if they don’t like how you’re using the bandwidth you paid for. They frown heavily on using streaming video services like Netflix or downloading torrents, and will quietly punish you for doing so. Since a VPN hides what you’re doing from the ISP, they can help you avoid Internet throttling.

High-Speed Servers Around the Globe

Since we’re talking about connection speeds, it’s worth mentioning how fast PureVPN.com’s services are. They pride themselves on their fast and stable service, which is enabled in part by over 6500 servers spread out across 140 countries. In most cases, you’ll use the nearest one for blazing fast, secure, anonymous Internet, suitable for gaming, downloading, beating off to 4K anal orgies or whatever else you’re into.

Of course, there are a handful of cases when it’d be helpful to connect to one of those PureVPN servers on the other side of the world. Why? It turns out you can save money and unblock content by surfing the web through another country.

A really great example for the porno enthusiast would be the world of Japanese Adult Video (JAV). If you’re a connoisseur of Asian smut, you already know that Japanese content is often censored all to hell with pixels covering up the private parts. Some JAV sites, like Kin8Tengoku, offer uncensored content to users outside of Japan. If you’re in Japan, you need to use a VPN to get at the good stuff. I’ve seen other JAV sites with sections that were open to people in Japan only, in which case VPN users outside of the country could use a Japanese VPN server to get inside.

The country-spoofing services offered by Pure VPN ain’t limited to helping you stroke your shaft when you’re supposed to be working from home. You’ll also find that streaming video services have largely different catalogs for different parts of the world, a byproduct of global licensing. You can also score deep discounts by taking advantage of international pricing. Steam is currently doing their best to stop the practice, since it isn’t exactly fair for a rich kid in Los Angeles to pay third-world prices for some Call of Duty DLC.

How Else Can I Unlock Block Content

We’ve covered how PureVPN can unblock content that’s restricted to certain countries, and I opened by talking about how they can unblock content if you’ve been banned from a specific website. It can also help you bypass firewalls and content-blockers big and small, whether implemented by your government or barista.

It’s easy to love from a pervert’s perspective. The local coffee shop put an obnoxious content blocker on their router when I was camping on their WiFi to write porn reviews. Now that I’m running all my traffic through that secret VPN tube, all they can do when I pull up teen blowjob films is give me dirty looks and call the police on me for trespassing again.

I keep it pretty casual here at ThePornDude, seeing as the whole joint is dedicated to helping you relax and ejaculate into a rotting melon you cut a hole into. That said, there are some serious, legitimate, grown-up reasons for using PureVPN.com besides the masturbation. Bypassing the draconian Internet restrictions of repressive regimes is a big one. Thailand had a big porn crackdown a month ago, resulting in a massive spike in VPN usage.

So, Is This Shit Worth It?

I’ve reviewed a number of VPNs with free trials or free but limited versions of the service. Pure VPN doesn’t have any free offerings, but they do offer a 31-day money-back guarantee. That’s a day more than most of the other guys are offering on their guarantees, though to be honest, you’ll probably know within the first week whether or not the service is going to be worth the price.

Their prices are competitive with the other services, so no real surprises there. If you’re just buying a month at a time, it’s eleven bucks, but the longer plans break to much better rates. I’m reviewing this in early December when every company that sells something is offering a discount. The five-year plan right now breaks down to $1.32 a month, which is fucking solid.

PureVPN’s got a VPN app that works with damn near anything that connects to the Internet. All the expected bases are covered, like Windows, Mac, Android and iPhone, but gadgets and gizmos like Chromecast, Roku, Xbox and Amazon Firestick. If you’ve been worried somebody’s trying to hack the web-enabled vibrating rubber snatch you’re building; this may help protect you.

It works with all your devices, and you know what? You can have all those bad boys connected at once, because they support 10 multi-logins at once. This makes Pure VPN one of the better options if you’ve got a whole family of perverts at home trying to unlock adult content or just browse the Internet in a safer, more secure way. I’ve spent most of this review talking about the porn stuff you can do with their service, but a VPN is just a really useful thing to have if you ever need to hop on a public WiFi network. Why not cut the family in on that additional cyber security?

PureVPN.com offers a cost-effective way to make all your Internet interactions a hell of a lot safer and secure, while also unlocking blocked content in various situations. You’ve got a fair number of VPN options out there, so why not choose one with a long track record and a fucking ton of satisfied customers? They don’t have an official “free” version or trial, but the 31-day guarantee means you can still try it without any real monetary risk. What have you got to lose besides the companies trying to collect your data and the prudes trying to block your porno?