SSSH

“Sssh!” I whispered to the scowling Starbucks barista. “I’m trying to watch some porn.” When she continued glaring at me, hands on her hips, I clarified, “Look, it isn’t the normal sleazy stuff I was watching last time you kicked me out. This stuff is highbrow, high-class, and dare I say, even empowering!” I flipped the laptop around so she could see what I was talking about, and I have to assume from her silence as she stormed away that she was impressed. I hope so, anyway, because I really can’t afford another strike on my record.

I know it might sound a little like I’m talking out of my ass, but I haven’t even been to Taco Bell in weeks. Anyhow, you can take it from the smut peddlers themselves: Sssh.com calls themselves “your source for ethically produced, sex-positive indie adult cinema.” I’m as skeptical as the next pervert when you label your fuck flicks as “feminist porn for women and couples,” but these guys aren’t some flash-in-the-pan newbie operation. They’ve been crowd-sourcing dirty movies since 1999 and racking up awards from outfits like the usual AVN and XBIZ, plus fancy-schmancy intellectuals like The Swedish Film Festival, LA Cinefest, and even The Feminist Porn Awards. With thousands of daily visitors flocking in to watch their unconventional brand of fap-fodder, I knew I needed to check it out for myself.

Check Out This Fucking Fancy-Ass Porno

Sssh distinguishes itself from the other guys right from the tour page. Most of the bigger, more popular paysites hit you with the hardest hardcore imagery right from the jump. We are, after all, modern and arguably jaded perverts, and we like it dirty. Sssh features a big, auto-playing montage of dick sucking, tit licking, pussy stuffing, and twat eating like you find elsewhere, but the presentation gives it an artier, more romantic feel.

There’s a lot of text out front, too. I will not repeat the whole spiel, but I think they do a good job selling themselves as an ethical, sex-positive, female-focused brand of smut. Hell, Rashida Jones even lists the site’s founder as one of her favorite female porn makers. Don’t get the wrong idea, though; this isn’t softcore, nor is it the overly artistic shit you sometimes find on “erotica” sites where they trade hotness for style. This is definitely fappable material.

I’m mainly here for the porn, and I know most of you are too, but I’d be slacking if I didn’t mention all the sex-positive extras you find on Sssh.com that you won’t find elsewhere. They’ve got a big-ass collection of erotic stories, for one thing, and online discussions led by B-list celebs like Margaret Cho, Desiree Burch, and Sarah Benicasas. They’ve even got a virtual world that’s now compatible with those newfangled VR sex helmets you convinced the wife to let you buy for “gaming purposes.” There are also sex-ed videos and articles, a podcast, and, naturally, a store where you can drop some more money.

Sell Me Some of That Ethical Porno

Given all that talk about community and positivity, I was expecting all those Sssh.com extras to be free. It’s a mixed bag, though. While some of the content I mentioned can be accessed without signing up, other materials require your credit digits. If you were hoping to read some of those erotic novels for free, I apologize, though I do have a whole section of Sex Stories Sites here at ThePornDude.

The good news, though, is that Sssh.com is cheaper than your average paysite. You usually have to shell out thirty bones a month almost everywhere else, but the regular price here is just twenty. The longer memberships are cheaper, of course, and they’ve got a 2-day membership for a fiver if you just want to look around.

I always like to mention how often porn sites add material, which I think is especially important when you’re paying to shake your boner at the stuff. Unfortunately, Sssh.com doesn’t list release dates aside from the year, and even that is done sporadically. They made their first movie back in 1998, though, so they’ve had time to stack them up, along with their curated collection of sex-positive porno from other sources.

To date, Sssh has hundreds of movies in the collection. I was hoping to give you a more accurate number, but the slightly outdated interface makes it difficult to calculate accurately without sitting around and counting each one. The downside is that not all of the movies are porno. Most are, but they are interspersed with lectures, interviews, tutorials, reviews, and other videos that are difficult to masturbate to.

Honestly, the non-porn videos are alright because they’re on-brand for Sssh’s whole pro-sex, pro-kink, pro-human vibe. What frustrated me a lot more was the fact that there’s no download button for the videos. The tech-savvy cats in the audience might be able to figure out how to save the movies for later, but most masturbators are only going to be able to enjoy it while they’re subscribed. A couple of years ago, most of the paysites were going streaming-only, but the trend seemed to be dying lately. Unfortunately, that big external hard drive you bought isn’t going to be of much use here.

The no-downloads thing is definitely at odds with their aspirations of making VR porn. The tour page talks up their growing virtual-reality porn library, but when I got inside, there was only one. You can watch it without a headset, panning around with the mouse, but it’s clearly designed for headset use. The quality is visibly grainy even in the web-based player, so it’s going to look like fucking shit with a VR screen right up against your eyeballs. The VR at Sssh might be a neat little bonus, but if you want to get the most out of your Oculus, check out some of the dedicated VR sites I’ve reviewed here at ThePornDude.

Digging In to Find the Good Stuff

Despite the flaws, one thing I love about the Sssh.com porn library is the wide variety of masturbatory content they’ve got available. You don’t have to dig very deep to find lesbian encounters, sensual sex scenes between couples, kinky BDSM romps, female-driven porn scenarios, ASMR skin-tingle vibes, foot fetish fun, and even some over-the-top parodies. The bad news is that I used the word “dig” because you really might have to burrow through the pile to get to the stuff you like.

I mentioned the site’s slightly outdated setup already, which extends to their tagging — or really, the lack thereof. Most porn sites label every video with a handful of tags so you can find your favorite kinks, fetishes, body types, sex acts, and scenarios immediately. The overall organization of the Sssh collection is lacking, with just a few broad categories under which everything is filed. There are some big-name pornstars like Chanel Preston, Nina Hartley, and Sophie Dee, but no model directory to help find your favorites easily. Likewise, there’s no index to locate the material from well-known production companies like Bellesa Films, SexArt, and Playgirl. You just have to stumble upon them or look through absolutely everything.

It’s a frustrating thing, especially when the fucked-up old design makes it difficult to open material in a new tab. I had to keep coming back to the same long scroll page, scroll down and wait for it to load the content. I’d just been browsing the page moments earlier. Sites as old as Sssh.com often noticeably wear their age, and this one is long overdue for some renovations.

That said, nobody is coming here for the fucking layout. Sssh.com has been successful for so long because they’re offering a particular brand of ethical, pro-sex pornography that’s difficult to find on the bigger, more popular sites. The films are fun, diverse, hardcore, and fapworthy. They will appeal to perverts even if you aren’t all concerned about who’s making your movies or how woke they are. It’s an excellent package for the price they’re asking, so I recommend checking out that tour page and seeing how those pro-sex porno vibes make you feel.