EscortDex

Ever flip through an Escort Dex? It’s kind of like a Rolodex; only it’s full of escorts. That kind of begs the question: have you ever even flipped through a Rolodex? You old fuckers will remember the clunky physical versions of your phone’s contact list, but I doubt anyone but the creepy old grandpa perverts still use them. Make sure to type up a card with my name and website so you can look it up next time you’re near both a computer and your Rolodex.

Given the Rolodex reference right in the name, I kind of figured EscortDex.com was registered back in 1995 or so, but no, they’re a modern website. These guys have only been around a couple of years, with a sleek, polished format that matches their age. All you Yanks looking for a girl to give you a yank will have to head back to my list of Escort Sites or just see who’s lurking behind 7-11 tonight. EscortDex has escort listings in over 100 countries, but the USA ain’t one of them.

A Classy Place to Find a Girl to Toss Your Salad

Before I say anything else, I want to talk about how EscortDex looks. This is a fucking well-designed hooker site. The layout is clean as fuck, brightly lit, with a simple logo and sparse header. There are a few unanimated ads for European escort agencies in the sidebar, and the rest of the page is devoted to thumbnails of gorgeous whores. I feel bad telling the Americans to go check the convenience store alley, because even the finest crack whore doesn’t come close to the average quality here.

Despite the naked titties on the page, the design gives EscortDex a very classy look. It lacks the sleaze of the porn store peep show or the dim grime of the champagne room. This is an upscale escort directory with deluxe escorts ready to fuck you for money.

The front page features some of the site’s offerings from around the world, with VIP babes at the top. The whole thing makes me wish I hadn’t traded my private jet for a custom sex doll built to look like my sister. Some of the prettiest, most beautiful and exquisitely sexy women in the world are selling their services in London, Dusseldorf and Amsterdam. There’s a blonde with huge tits in Frankfurt, a tight-bodied Asian in Bangkok, and a stunning brunette in London.

I clicked my way to the Countries page to see the full list of locations. There are 103 countries listed, though not all of them have escort listings. They do have a lot of countries that are often left out of the global escort directories. I had no idea how bad I wanted to visit Iceland until just a few minutes ago. The handful of prostitutes EscortDex.com has listed in Kazakhstan are all way hotter than Borat’s sister/wife.

Finding the Hottest Sluts in Your Hood

Like any escort site, one of EscortDex.com’s immediate problems is that selection is going to be really hit or miss, depending on where you live. I’m in the US right now, so my closest options on the site are up north in Canada. Thanks to the pandemic, I’m not even allowed to visit except for essential purposes, which specifically exclude tourism, recreation and entertainment. This feels medical, though; my balls are totally going to explode if I don’t get laid!

EscortDex has three pages of Canadian escorts. That isn’t bad, but Canada’s a pretty big-ass country. Most of the girls are naturally clustered in cities like Toronto, Ottawa and Vancouver. The site has filters galore, though, starting with a list of cities at the top of the page to help narrow your selection.

These guys have some really nice search and sort filters built into their hoe database. A set of dropdowns above the thumbnails let you dial in gender, age, ethnicity, hair and eye color. Choose your preferred cup size and your favored height, your optimal weight and your ideal dress size. Find who’s available for an incall and who’s doing outcalls tonight. They’ll even let you choose how you’d like her pubes: Shaved Completely, Shaved Mostly, or Trimmed Natural.

There’s a VERIFIED button with a check mark on it, presumably to narrow down your babes to the ones who have proven they’re real. Unfortunately, not a single Canadian babe among them seemed to have gone through whatever steps the site demands for verification. As with other hooker sites, it’s ultimately on you to make sure you’re safe and don’t do any dumb shit.

If you scroll to the bottom of the page, you’ll find filters that break the escorts down by Type or Service. The Types are pretty generic, like Agency Escort, Female Escort or Blonde Escort. The Services, on the other hand, get pretty fucking specific. Some escort sites only talk in secret sex code, so it’s nice when they tell you specifically what they’re up for. (Not every chick on the site fills out her profile completely and lists their full services. Your mileage is probably going to vary depending on what your local laws are.)

Listed under Escorts by Service, you’ll find girls offering kissing, fingering, footjobs and even fisting. There are girls offering fetish or latex action for the kinksters and duos for those with more love to give. There are escorts offering blowjobs, both with or without condoms, anal massage givers and receivers, and at least one nasty broad in Canada offering period play.

Get a GFE, a BJ or some BDSM Tonight

A cute exotic chick in Halifax caught my eye, so I clicked through to take a look at her EscortDex.com profile. The pretty lady’s listing is pretty sparse, other than giving her age as 29, her eye color as Black and her cup size as C. She does have a nice selection of selfies, though, including a full nude shot where she’s down on her knees. Clicking the phone icon brings up her phone number, with no sign-up or registration required to view phone numbers. It looks like you won’t have to worry about your wife finding emails from EscortDex about that hooker you hired.

I checked out a blonde 23-year-old selling the GFE out of Toronto. This chick put more effort into selling herself, with a long blurb about her elegance and all-natural figure to match the elegant photos of her all-natural figure. This chick’s a legit pro with her own website, but only has an envelope icon where the other girl had a phone icon.

Unlike phone numbers, you’ve got to sign up to send a bitch a message. That makes sense if you’re using the internal EscortDex messaging system. The problem is that a lot of the escorts, dominatrixes and erotic masseuses have envelope icons instead of phone icons in their profile. That means you’re cut off from contacting them unless you sign up for the site. It won’t be a dealbreaker for most people, but it’s an unnecessary inconvenience.

EscortDex certainly has a lot going for it. It’s one of the better-looking escort sites I’ve seen lately, with some of the most useful and efficient search, sort and filter options. The sign-up issue is pretty trivial, to be honest, so the only real problem with the site is that what it has to offer is going to depend so fucking much on where you happen to be at the current moment.

EscortDex.com is such a nice hooker site that I’d consider myself lucky if I was in one of the areas best served by the site. Sometimes global escort sites reach too broadly, which results in such a loose scattering of listings that it’s not much use anywhere. The better worldwide directories usually start gaining more traffic in bigger cities and specific regions. If you’re anywhere besides the United States, EscortDex is definitely worth a look to see what kind of action they’ve got going on in your area. I wish you the best of luck, my horny friend.