Cunt Empire

CuntEmpire! Ever wanted to build your own Cunt Empire? I don’t mean a mountain of ready and willing poon constantly pounding on your door like I’ve got here at ThePornDude manor, though it’s a noble goal to aspire to. No, I’m talking about your own little or big-ass slice of the online adult industry pie. What can be better than making a bunch of money while getting off to a bunch of beautiful sluts?

CuntEmpire.com is a business management simulator where you manage resources to build a massive porn empire. If you think of yourself as a very stable genius with a strong business sense, this will give you a little challenge while also giving you something to jack off to. The game launched in late 2019, and currently has over 1,000 players a day. Let’s see what they’re getting into.

Sexy Art and Genuine Pornstars

The loading screen for CuntEmpire features some suave-looking motherfucker lounging on the couch with a couple of stacks of money and a few hot bitches giving him a lot of attention. One’s flipped upside down, legs over her head as she fingers herself deep. Another caresses him and whispers sweet nothings in his ear with a pink dildo stuffed up her twat. The third is sucking on his raging hard cock, making fuck-me eyes at the viewer. The art is fucking crisp and sexy, so I’m hard by the time the LET’S GO button loads. Yes, let’s go!

I knew this was going to be a polished game from the loading screen, but I didn’t realize CuntEmpire stars legit big-name pornstars. Instead of random hentai schoolgirls, a digital version of Little Caprice is delivering the opening line of dialog.

“Now lemme get this straight,” says Little Caprice. “We got fired because you fucked the producer’s wife? Shit, Mark, I told you to keep your cock in pants!” That last sentence is missing a word, but that’s how it’s written on the screen. A couple of other little typos in the opening made me wonder if the whole thing was made by non-English speakers or if they just skimped on the editing. There’s also some clunky design with the text boxes, with overlapping colors that make some of it hard to read.

“Babe, not my fault, she fell asleep with her mouth open!” says Mark, the smooth gentleman we saw on the opening screen. Mark’s dream is to build his own porn empire, which makes it your dream as well since you’ll be playing Mark as he makes his dreams come true.

Let’s Build That Adult Empire!

After the short setup dialog, it’s time to start building your Cunt Empire. Initially, the only things available in the store are webcams and BDSM shows. The bondage spectacular is 10,000 bucks, though, and you’ve only got $600. It looks like you’ll be starting small, but don’t worry, webcams will only set you back a Benjamin a piece.

I bought my first webcam, which entitled me to some awards. I got back more cash than I spent, earned a few cards, and a new video part. The items are randomly selected, and I didn’t know what I actually got until I hit the CLAIM button. The blowjob in the video screengrab looked hot, but I couldn’t watch it until I found the other 6 parts. The card with the half-naked hottie was more immediately useful, as I was able to put that slut to work in front of a webcam.

I spent most of my remaining money hiring Jessica to be my camwhore, but I was immediately met with an Income Increased message. The previously empty room on my webcam is now occupied by the dark-haired whore drilling herself from behind with a purple dildo. The progress bar fills up, and every time it does, I can collect a stack of cash. It’s not an idle game, so you actually have to click to collect or she stops working until you do.

Another little button lets you spend some money to bring in more customers to your CuntEmpire. More customers mean your camwhores earn more cash each time, and I also got a reward as soon as I hit 15 viewers. I got more cards, another piece of that video, and a big enough stack of cash to upgrade the whole operation.

Build Your Business One Whore at a Time

Some porn games really make you grind away before you make any progress, so I was happy my CuntEmpire.com game was progressing so smoothly. I was able to add that BDSM show to my act within the first few minutes of the game. I got some more rewards just for adding new content, and then even more rewards when I hired a girl to do that kinky shit on camera.

The game has a nice, slow, but steady learning curve. You learn to play as you go, with new elements being introduced one at a time instead of just piled on at the beginning. Once I had the BDSM show running, I had to be more careful about where I put my advertising money. The bondage stuff brings in a higher dollar, but it costs more to get fans on board.

I found myself wishing CuntEmpire.com was more of an idle game. With two sources of income, the BDSM show and the webcam, I had to do more clicking to collect that paper and keep the broads working. Fortunately, after a couple of minutes of this, Little Caprice popped up on the screen again to spice things up. After a few lines of dialog, a START ORGY button appeared.

Cunt Empire is broken down into episodes, and I’m still on the first. I can see some of the still-locked content, like the Bad Girls show, from the main screen. When I went to the orgy, I saw a bunch of potential orgy rewards that would be unlocked later. Golden condoms, AVN Awards, Cash Canons and Fleshlights all increase your Fuckpower.

My current Fuckpower is a measly 100%, which seems good enough for an orgy. I clicked LET’S FUCK and got a 3-second countdown before experiencing the first of Cunt Empire’s interactive, animated fuck scenes. It wasn’t an orgy in a technical sense since it was a one-on-one scene. It was a hot chick riding a dude’s dick, though, and I’m certainly down with that.

The interactivity is pretty simple: click as fast as you can until the timer runs out. The girl moans and slides her pussy on the shaft while you rack up points. I scored a perfect my first time using a double-fingered tapping technique I developed on your mom. My reward? One of those Golden Condoms to increase my Fuckpower, plus more coins, some more slut cards, and the final piece of that blowjob video.

Watch Real Whores Get Fucked in XXX Vids

CuntEmpire.com’s many rewards include full-motion porn videos. Once I had the video unlocked, I clicked Play and was treated to an uncut segment from The Little Caprice show starring the titular little whore. It’s a web-cam style scene where she caresses her titties for the camera before stripping completely. A dude with a big cock appears halfway through the scene, and the babe just can’t help but wrap her mouth around it. He fucks her face, and then she flips around to get it from behind.

So many games pay off in clips and animations that are so short you can barely fap to them. While this is technically a montage, it’s not sliced to shit, and there’s more than enough time and action to get your rocks off before you go back to managing your business.

I accidentally closed the window after ruining yet another keyboard. I didn’t sign up for a Cunt Empire account yet, but thanks to the cookies, I jumped right back into Episode Two when I loaded the page again. If you’re using your browser’s porn mode, you’ll need an account or you’ll start over each time.

One of the things I really liked about CuntEmpire.com is that I was able to play for a good, long time without needing any in-app purchases or even being asked to buy some. The in-app purchases are completely optional, which isn’t always the case in some free-to-play games that cripple your progress if you’re a cheapskate.

Cunt Empire had more depth than I expected from a porn business manager. The gameplay is addictive, as are the sex animations and videos that they sprinkle liberally along the way. It’s web-based and easy as fuck to jump right into, so I recommend giving it a look if you’ve always dreamed of being an Internet smut peddler.