Being A Dik

Fuck yeah. I’ve been looking forward to this review for a long time. Whenever I cover anything made by Dr. Pink Cake, I just can’t keep my cool. This guy has been reinventing and perfecting the 3D western porn genre for the past few years and getting paid the big bucks on Patreon for his work. The people love him and it’s easy to see why. I mean, just look at those fucking screenshots. This game is an absolute masterpiece of modern game design. From the graphics, to the storyline to how fucking well-polished everything is.

There is not one bad thing about this game. It’s free to play, for fuck’s sake. And yes, you can technically buy it on Steam, but if you want to avoid that platform for whatever reason, you can still contribute to the great doctor, by donating to his Patreon. Or, you could try it out for free. It’s your choice. Either way, he’s making off like a bandit and the porn game-loving community is ecstatic. This guy makes the kinds of porn games I used to dream about when I was a kid. I never thought we’d get this far.

When 3D porn games first became a thing, it was kind of a given that they’d look fucking janky. The chicks always used to give me uncanny valley vibes. Then, several of the greats like NLT and Dr. Pink Cake came into the scene and reinvented 3D models, by making them actually fap-worthy. I’d also like to give props to the man for giving this game an actual enjoyable story. Being a DIK will make you laugh, cry and masturbate for many hours. I very much guarantee it.

The Story

Let’s start off strong. If you’ve ever seen the TV show Greek, you should know what you’re getting into with this game. American Pie is also a bit of a parallel, but that movie was actually more sexual than porn games, and it was also kind of cringy. This game doesn’t have cringe. It has fun. It also has serious plot lines that you can resolve by being a good college student. And, that means dating the ever-loving shit out of every bang-worthy chick on campus and generally being a good pal to your fraternity brothers.

The game lets you name your character. You play it in first-person view. So far, so good. There are a couple of scenes where you can see your character and he’s cool looking, I guess. For the most part, he’s kept out of view, so that you can really immerse yourself into the story. You start off in a small town, a few days before heading off to college. You’re introduced to the dad of the story. He’s a hell of a guy. I wish my dad was as cool as him. Anyways, you put the moves on a local chick you have a crush on and shortly after, it’s off to college. Once you get there, shit goes from zero to a hundred pretty fast.

About the DIKs

You want to join a fraternity, because you’re a social kind of guy and you have nowhere to live for the time being. So, you consider your options. You’re too dumb for the nerds, too poor for the preps and you don’t give a flying fuck about sports, so the jocks are out of the question. That just leaves the DIKs. Yes, that’s the whole point of the name. It’s the fraternity’s Greek abbreviation.

This frat has a very simple mission statement. Family comes first. Also, bang bitches and drink booze as much as possible. It sounds like my kind of place. For the rest of the game, you’ll be doing your best trying to become a proper DIK and getting into girls’ panties without them getting upset. Try not to start anything monogamous; it’s college, for fuck’s sake.

Very Exciting Story

The game is constantly exciting with the story regularly throwing you fun little curveballs to keep you on your toes. All the characters are interesting and memorable. This is probably the first porn game in which I didn’t mind the actual dudes. They were good bros and Derek especially was best friend material. You’ll see. I haven’t gone gay on you, since he’s just that cool. I mean, I banged the dude’s sister and he was mostly cool with it. You can’t tell me that’s not bro material.

The other dudes are either people you’re going to be punching in the face, or they’re fellow DIKs. They’re all really memorable and different from one another. The relationships between all the different sororities and fraternities come into play and you have to figure all this out and plan your pussy hunt accordingly.

Chick Vs Dick

Unfortunately, you can’t get all the pussy in one playthrough. The game tracks the decisions you make and often, you’ll have to make a call between acting like a chick and acting like a dick. Listen very carefully. Either do a full chick playthrough or a full dick playthrough. Being around the middle isn’t fun. You could also grab a walkthrough mod if you’d like. It doesn’t damage the experience that much. Towards the further stages of the game, some of the chicks will straight up refuse to date you if you don’t lean heavily towards a single alignment.

The hottest chick in the game requires you to basically be rolling full chick, but she doesn’t really have many steamy sex scenes yet. They’re saving that for the sequel for some fucking reason. On my first playthrough, I went 100% dick and I regretted nothing. My bros loved me, everyone on campus thought I was a baller ass gangster and I got mad respect. It was a fun ass experience. It actually took me back to my college days – waking up in strange beds with even stranger women and every single one of these broads was hot as hell. I very much enjoyed revisiting that part of my life for a day.

Dark Mysteries

As in every good 3D porn game, there’s a dark subplot brewing beneath the surface. I’m still not quite sure where they’re going with it, but I caught a couple of hints here and there. It would appear that the owners of the school are involved in some less than reputable activity. I think they might be banging the female students. I can’t be sure and I don’t blame them. The babes are indeed quite fuck-worthy. But, there’s some sort of crime ring, that much is clear.

You’ll inevitably get caught up in this mess. I like how all the characters are actually connected in a realistic way. They’re not all friends or whatever, but at the very least, they know of each other. They talk about each other. They give you some insight into the school’s past. Hell, there’s even a part of the game where you get to see the birth of the DIK fraternity, which happened a couple of years prior, I believe. This game really covers all of its bases. It’s like a proper TV show.

Fucking and Sucking

Ok, let’s talk about the sex scenes. They’re peak quality. Most of the content is comprised of flat images, but there are quite a few animations thrown into the mix for the endgame, like the hardcore penetration. All the babes are drop-dead gorgeous.

You could take a still from any part of the game that has babes on screen and use that shit as your wallpaper. I encourage you to do just that. Hell, dive into the game’s files and find the reward posters. Use those as your wallpaper. They’re extremely high definition. On top of that, the game itself is pre-rendered, so it’s sure to run on any computer. Dr. Pink Cake is a fucking wizard.

It’s a Great Fucking Game

The game isn’t very long, but there’s a ton of content in it. There’s also no unnecessary expository dialogue. It’s not a classical visual novel like those out of Japan. People speak in short and simple sentences and you get to control your character and converse with people freely all the time. Sometimes, you’re given the option to free roam, like when you’re at a party or something. These sections of the game really give it a lot of life and immersion. You’re not just on a rail. You’re carving your own path, kind of.

You can consider the gameplay linear. There’s a bit of fighting here and there, but it’s mostly treated like a dialogue option. For the most part, you just choose what to say, or which chick to follow home. There was also a part of the game, where I was asked to decide which bitch had the hottest ass. I quite enjoyed that, to be honest.