MySexGames

My Sex Games! Porn has always been an interactive art form. From the very first time anybody ever photographed a twat, it’s been impossible not to interact with yourself while looking at the stuff. Technology has really stepped up the level of interaction in porn, though. You can even play sexual video games on sites like My Sex Games.

They claim to have The Biggest Collection of Sex Games on the Web. It’s a pretty fucking bold statement, but they’ve got something to back it up. There are currently 984 sex games in the collection. They add a new game every week, so there will probably be more by the time you see it.

Your Sex Games Right Now

MySexGames.com was registered way back in 2005, and it fucking shows. The logo, layout, and color scheme are an ugly blast from the past. It’s a good thing the games look interesting or I’d be out of here.

The site features the traditional grid of thumbnails you see on most porn sites. Instead of leading to HD gangbang scenes and amateur blowjob videos, though, all the links go to different sex-themed video games.

Different styles of art are featured in the thumbnails, with varying degrees of realism. Hentai fans rejoice--the anime style of big-breasted, big-eyed bitches is well represented. I also see one that looks like it could be an XXX-rated Family Guy parody, and a couple MS Paint monstrosities. If cartoons don’t do it for you, I see a couple with live girls.

I also see live girls on this spam that made it past my ad-blocker. You know, for a site with a decade-old look, this is some futuristic advertising. Girls wearing nothing or next to nothing dance in the corner of the screen, one after another.

Ads are always changing, so it might be different when you look, but holy shit, this is insidious. I’m supposed to be trying out these games, but I keep watching the girls gyrate and take off their clothes. I find myself waiting for the soapy broad washing the screen like a car, and the gal in the Harley Quinn getup grinding a baseball bat against her clit.

Okay, I clicked the X and made the sexy dancing girls go away. I’ll miss them, but there are nearly a thousand games I need to try.

Playing (Video Games) with Yourself

Beneath each thumbnail is a count of how many views each game has, and a three-star rating system. Hovering over an image gives you a fairly detailed text description.

There’s a lot to choose from, even if I just stick to the sex games with higher ratings. MySexGames has a few categories linked in the header. My choices are Top Rated, Action, Adventure, Puzzle, Dress-Up, and Cartoon. Since I’m new here, I’m going to stick to the front page for now.

Do I want to play a lesbian voyeur spying on her lesbian friends fucking? Maybe I can try my hand at running a virtual brothel. If I’m feeling less ambitious, I could just fill soda bottles while a blonde strips in the background. This one with the green alien chick getting her pussy licked by a monster looks interesting, too.

I end up picking one called Fuck Your Champion 1.8. It’s got nearly 80k views and the rating looks perfect. It’s also the top game if you sort MySexGames by Top Rated. There’s a chick spreading her legs to show her snatch in the screengrab, and that’s the sort of thing I’m into.

Fuck Your Champion

The game runs on Adobe Flash Player, so I get a prompt to enable the dying plugin before I can play. If you’re jacking off at work and they’ve got Flash blocked, you can watch the convenient MP4 version, though you’ll miss out on the interaction.

There’s a comment section on the video page. I’m a little disappointed nobody has said anything about Fuck Your Champion even though it was uploaded a month ago. MySexGames users aren’t big commenters, apparently.

When the game starts up, I get a big warning across the screen. This game contains excessive adult themes and thus it is not recommended for under-aged viewers. Well, no shit! That’s exactly why I’m here.

I didn’t notice the Fullscreen button on the right side of the screen until I already had a naked bitch with her legs spread on the screen. You want to hit Fullscreen before you do anything, because it actually opens a new tab with another copy of the game in it.

Fuck Your Champion is a pretty simple game. I’m actually not sure “game” is the right word. “Simulator” is probably more accurate. You select a babe, customize her features, and then choose the ways different monsters bang her. I’m talking about literal monsters, hairy sons of bitches with dog dicks tit-fucking your champion.

I changed my mind. After spending a few minutes doing wrist exercises with Fuck Your Champion, I’ve realized it is a game with a definite strategy. Let me break it down for you.

You’re going to want to start slow. I tried going straight to gang bang first. The girl just looked bored with all the dicks coming at her and the meter didn’t move. Start with rubbing at a slow pace, then speed up. The meter moves up as she gets wetter and you get closer to cumming.

When the meter fills up, a new icon appears. Click it, pop on her face, and the orgasm counter goes up one. It’s simple fun, and you can whack off to it.

That’s a Ton of Porn Games

After my champion gave doggy-dick orgasm number 5, this one via footjob, I went back to the main page to browse. Those sexy spam girls started shaking their titties and spreading their twats in the corner of the screen. I watched them for a minute before I clicked the X.

Seeing the Harley Quinn chick in that ad again put me in the mood to play a game I noticed on the page, Harley Quinn: Arhkham Assylum. This one’s a little more elaborate, and opens with Harley Quinn, tits out, stroking my cock.

The game basically simulates fucking Harley Quinn. You choose when to move on to the next animation, and make choices like Vaginal or Anal. The production values seem decent. Animation is a little pixelly but well drawn, and the voice actress is spot-on.

A Needle-dick in a Haystack

Next I spent a few minutes playing a strip poker game, but after the other two, this one took way too long to get to the good stuff. I guess I got spoiled by the instant sex.

I wish there was a way to filter games down by how much of a commitment they’ll take to get to the porno. Actually, I wish there were any kind of filters at all.

Besides the tiny number of categories in the header, there’s no way to sort through the games. I can view the New Games and the Top Rated games, but if I pull up a category I can’t sort them by New or Popular. I don’t know how the categories are sorted by default, but the only way to get through them is clicking through all the pages.

The lack of sorting would be less aggravating if MySexGames had even a basic search feature. Seriously, what site on the Internet in 2018 doesn’t have a goddamn search bar? That’s pure idiocy. If you find some hidden gem on the site, make sure to bookmark it so you can find it again.

It probably doesn’t matter, though. Maybe MySexGames doesn’t need a search feature because it doesn’t matter that much.

I just spent ten minutes playing a Metroid parody. I was a tentacle monster, chasing Samus down a metal hallway, ripping off her clothes. The game description says the fun really starts when you finally strip and catch her, so I have more work to do.

I’ve never played a Metroid tentacle rape game, or even imagined it exists. Finding random shit like this is part of the fun of MySexGames. It’s full of weird, sexy, and fun games, plus it’s all free. I’m going to play some more, after I watch these dancing spam girls for a while.