LeoVegas

I thought Leo Vegas was going to be some sleazy guy in a tracksuit and a big gold chain, macking on cigarette-smoking grandmas while they pump token after token into the slot machines of some casino. It turns out I was totally wrong about the website, but the guy I’m thinking of might be a regular visitor. You can’t really entice the old ladies at an online casino, but you ain’t going to get pepper-sprayed either. Hey, you win some, you lose some. That’s kind of the whole point of gambling, right?

LeoVegas.com is a gambling site full of casino games and a sportsbook, so you can light up that special part of your brain that goes crazy for the risk/reward cycle. It’s not as consistently fun as jerking off, because sometimes you lose, but winning can be so fucking satisfying. The joint gets millions of viewers a month, and you know how I feel about peer pressure, which is why I’m currently checking my bank balance to see if I can afford another marathon binge of fruit machines and blackjack.

You Can’t Play LeoVegas from Real Vegas

It’s kind of ironic that Leo Vegas is named after the most iconic Sin City in the world, because you can’t actually play with the site if you’re really living in the City that Never Sleeps. Unfortunately, like many other online casinos and gambling sites, LeoVegas doesn’t let Americans have any fun. As soon as I tried to visit the page, I got a message saying, “LeoVegas services are currently not available for residents or visitors within the United States of America.” Well, damn!

I tried again using a VPN, choosing a server in Canada so it would seem like I was a Canuck, eh. It got me in like Flynn, but there’s always some risk when you use a VPN to gamble on a casino that theoretically doesn’t want your business. You may be in violation of their Terms of Service, which means they can probably terminate your account without warning and confiscate your winnings. That said, most of these places know goddamn well what their customers are doing and don’t really go out of their way to bust people. If you’re unsure how it works, check out my section here at ThePornDude, where I review the Best VPN Sites. Otherwise, the Americans are just going to have to choose a different casino for now.

It is definitely worth noting that literally as I write this, LeoVegas has just announced their launch in the USA. They put out a press release this morning, and they expect to allow American players by the first half of 2022. I know that’s a whole fucking year away from when I’m writing this, but the bottleneck has got to be all the licensing and other legal hurdles they need to jump if they want to stay legit. You know, the usual bureaucracy bullshit you’ll always find in the world of legal gambling.

Once I got in and took a look around, I liked the feel of the place. LeoVegas.com isn’t an overly flashy site, but it doesn’t feel cheap and half-ass either. The front pages shows off some of their more popular games, lining up icons for jackpot games, slots, table games, virtual sports and even game shows. The whole thing’s got an orange theme that feels almost wholesome, but these aren’t any kiddy games or I wouldn’t be here.

Some Gifts for Newbies and Some for Regulars

Like pretty much any decent online casino, LeoVegas.com has some pretty sweet welcome offers. You get your choice on the welcome/signup screen, though you actually have a couple of weeks from registration to claim your welcome offer. They’re all attractive, but catered toward different kinds of gamblers, so decide what type of betting you’re planning on focusing on before you pull the trigger. (Maybe that’s why they give you a couple of weeks to claim it, so you have some time to look around.)

If you’re mainly into the virtual casino games like slots and jackpots, you’ll probably want to shoot for Leo Vegas’s casino welcome package. That gets you up to a thousand bucks and a couple of hundred free spins with your first deposit. The live casino welcome package seems like less of a draw since you only get up to $500. The thing is, all of these sites have wagering requirements which I imagine were included when they calculated how much to give you. They may not be as uneven as they initially seem, so you don’t necessarily want to grab the regular casino bonus just because it looks bigger.

For the oldsters out there, LeoVegas also has a bingo welcome package really similar to the casino one, also netting you five hundred and 200 free spins. Finally, you can get up to a $300 cash bonus with the sportsbook welcome package. For the sports bonus, they get a little more specific on the welcome page about what you have to deposit and what you have to wager to unlock the specific bonuses. For the full $300, you need to deposit $300 and bet $1,500.

Welcome offers are great, but LeoVegas.com would be selling themselves short if that’s all they offered. Hell, if these places only offered welcome offers, I think a lot of gamblers would just hop from casino to casino to cash in as new users. To help maintain your interest, there is a regular flow of fresh promo offers. As I review this, the current promotions are a 4-day fiesta with a big prize pool, a wild weekend bonus and a special event for Tuesday rewards, plus about ten other little promo perks that are worth taking a peek at. Make sure to click that Promotions tag at the top of LeoVegas to see what kind of shit you can score for free.

Really, one of the biggest disadvantages I see to signing up with Leo Vegas is that they don’t take crypto yet. Come on, guys, get with the times! How the fuck am I supposed to gamble away all my doge winnings?

But What Kind of Games Can I Play?

Arguably, one of the biggest draws over at LeoVegas is their big-ass selection of virtual casino games. There’s a spread of some of their most popular games at the top of the front page, and it’s mostly slots like you’d expect, plus a couple of monetized tile games and other fun. You can play for free if you just want to fuck around before you break out the wallet.

After fucking around a bit with the slots and jackpots, I checked out their spread of live table games. The selection is noticeably slimmer than the automated stuff, but there’s no reason to doll up the same basic content with a million themes when you’re dealing with the classics. All the usual suspects are here, like blackjack, roulette, baccarat and about a dozen different poker games. I like how LeoVegas has more than twenty game shows like Deal or No Deal and Live Mega Ball, so you can pretend you’re on TV when you’re actually just gambling by yourself while taking a huge dump with a hardon.

When I was signing up, I noticed there was talk about the sports betting on Leo Vegas, but the option was surprisingly absent when I actually started playing. Well, it turns out sports betting is available, but not in every country. I had to fuck around with my VPN settings, but I was able to get access to the sportsbook part of the site when I switched to a server in the United Kingdom. I hope when they get their American license, it includes the sports stuff, and frankly, they’d be leaving money on the table to leave it out.

Ultimately, LeoVegas.com offers a nice selection of gambling options for anyone who doesn’t want to book a flight to the real Vegas. It doesn’t have the hookers, so you’ll have to rub one out yourself, but nobody cares here if you do that even while you’re playing the slot machines. I’m banned from Caesar’s Palace after the last little incident, but now I can finally play roulette again with my raging Viagra boner exposed. Now, time to win some money.