The Porn Highway

Super Slots

Super Slots
(4/5 User rating)

Online gambling is in and real-life casinos are out. Why gamble in a stuffy-ass, smoky-ass casino filled with all kinds of non-desirables when you could kick back at home with an entire bottle of scotch and go to town on some chance games? I hate it when random people bump into me when I’m gambling. Then, there are the annoying folks who think I want their breath in my ear when they wish me luck on my next craps roll. Fuck that noise. I want to gamble comfortably in my home, where I may or may not be wearing an automated fleshlight. Some people like getting some suction on their cock while they piss money away. Don’t judge me. The thrill of gambling gets my creative juices flowing. By creative juices, I, of course, mean cum.

So, I lube up, I pop on my Super Pro Masturbator 3000 and I head on over to Superslots.Ag to get my fill of virtual games of chance. This is a great fucking website, let me tell you. Right off the bat, you’ll notice that they took the most important thing into account – design. But PornDude – I hear you bitch and moan – Aren’t security and payment methods so much more important than style when it comes to gambling? Yes, you troglodyte – they are. But, those things are industry standard at this point. If a gambling website is afloat and legal, which Superslots.Ag very much has covered, then you know they’re safe to use. What remains after that is the design. That’s why you pick Superslots.Ag over their competitors. You want to cut through the bullshit and get to the games. So, let’s do just that.

Different Types of Games

I can see at least five different types of games on the Superslots.Ag home page. That’s a good start. Note, I said types, not categories, themes or genres. These are entirely different experiences. I’ve noticed that similar gambling sites have a tendency of shoving a particular type of gambling experience in your face, depending on what they think you want to see. I don’t like this approach at all.

I went over to a similar website a while back and they bombarded me with all kinds of slot machine options. Now, I have nothing against slot machines. I know that they’re a staple of online gambling. The problem is, not everyone likes slot machines. Some people come to gambling sites for poker; others want to play BlackJack. Hell, you might even want to get in on a live casino with an actual human dealer.

That’s exactly what made Superslots.Ag stand out to me from the get-go. They show you, straight up on the home page, that they have different kinds of gambling options. They couldn’t be more different from one another. So, yes, they do indeed have a clusterfuck of slots for you to choose from, but if you were hoping to see an actual dealer throw cards on a hard surface, well, you’ve got that option too. Really, the world is your oyster on this site, as long as you’re down to do some gambling. They’ve got a little something for everyone – variety in spades.

The Live Casinos Are Amazing

The first time I ever tried the video casinos on Superslots.Ag, I couldn’t believe my eyes. They were the real deal! I know, I shouldn’t be taken aback by that, but fuck me, I’m not used to these kinds of sites providing the shit that I expect to see. They usually resort to marketing gimmicks in order to get you to give them your hard-earned cash. Well, you don’t get any of that bullshit here. These are legitimate live online casinos with actual human beings dealing the hands that you play.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: The dealer is dealing for anyone and everyone who joins the room, so it doesn’t matter whether you’re there or not – you get a separate hand from everyone else. Sure, that may well be the case, but here’s why that doesn’t matter. The dealer’s hand is the one that matters. It’s the one that determines the outcome of the game. It’s not like they can magically swap out the cards from under your nose in order to trick you. But, what if you prefer a more personal touch? What if you don’t want to be just another face in a crowd? Well, that’s where the poker tables come in. These are easily my favorite part of the whole damn site.

Play Against Other People

Imagine playing Texas HoldEm with other people from around the globe, live, with an actual flesh and blood dealer who also happens to be a hot young babe. Well, you don’t have to use your imagination any longer. This is peak gambling, right here. It’s just you and some boys, duking it out for the big payoff. Now, I trust Superslots.Ag with my money, but it’s still nice to play a game in which the house has no incentive to screw you. What I mean by that is, when you play video poker against a machine, the odds are cosmically stacked against you – the house always wins in the end, as the poets say.

When you’re playing against real people, though, there is no house. Sure, the casino might take a cut from the profits or whatever, but the actual gameplay is untouched. The dealer is there to serve the cards. She doesn’t take any money away. She just moves it around between the players. That’s the whole point of playing against other people. You take the house out of the equation and now there are no real odds. It all comes down to your poker skill and your poker face. Granted, you can’t do much by way of bluffing online. It’s much more exciting in person. Still, I know a lot of people who’ve made an absolute bullion playing online poker. Just remember that people can’t see your face and you’re all set to go.

Tons of Single Player Games

All right, it’s time to appeal to the nerds in the audience. Yes, there are many slot machines here that you’re free to enjoy all on your lonesome. There are even virtual poker and blackjack games that you can play on your own versus the computer. I don’t know why you’d prefer these over playing against actual people, but hey, maybe you’re an agoraphobic basement dweller. What the hell do I know? Whatever the case, Superslots.Ag has a giant selection of single-player games through which you can gamble millions of dollars, if you invest the time. Let’s just hope you’re gambling them in the right direction.

Hell, they’ve got a fucking Dragonball slot machine in here. That’s how widely they’re casting their net. Now, I’m not saying that you have to be a nerd to enjoy slots. I’m just saying that there’s no multiplayer Dragonball gambling game. There’s only the single-player one, so you do the math.

There are also some nods to old-school gaming with a Galaxian-inspired slot machine, as well as the standard Egyptian and Greek random non-sense you get in real-life casinos. I don’t get the appeal of these, but most of them have busty babes on the cover, so I guess they get a gold star from me. I’ll still take a poker table over this shit, though. That’s just my preference.

Table Games

I hear that these are extremely popular in Europe. For some reason, certain Eastern European casinos only have digital roulette machines. You don’t get the sensation of actually placing chips on the table. So… I guess you get the Eastern European experience on Superslots.Ag in that the roulette wheel may not be available to touch, but the winnings will end up in your pocket at the end of the round. It’s a great way to kill some time.

The table games are a decent mid-ground between the slots and the head-to-head poker. They let you gamble alongside other people without actually pitting you against them. I’m not personally very good at roulette, but hey, your luck might be different. There are several classic versions plus a few original variations to keep things interesting.

Bonuses and Rules

Make sure to read all of the rules or, at the very least, skim them before you start gambling. This is serious business. Also, check out their promotions and bonuses. There are ways to get some extra money on top of every deposit to help get the ball rolling. Speaking of deposits, you can use damn near any credit card or even pay in crypto currencies if you’d like. There are no limits on Superslots.Ag. I love this place and I think you will too. Give it a whirl!

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