RooBet

Roobet’s been around for a couple of years now, but like anything crypto-related, they’ve grown steadily as interest in fake Internet money continues to gain steam. One bitcoin is worth nearly $60,000 today and the early investors are all rich, but hey, it’s arguably still a very young currency with a lot of room to get even bigger. You could do the old-timey crypto gambling method of just sitting on your stash, hoping it matures, or you could get a little more proactive with the risk and the sweet, sweet rewards.

Roobet.com, if you’re new to the party, is an online crypto casino where you can gamble with bitcoin or Ethereum. They’ve grown quite a bit since their inception, and now they see over 20,000 visitors coming by every day to play slots, blackjack and other games. I just got my third-round COVID stimulus check, so let’s see what kind of trouble I can get into.

Gambling Around the World with a VPN

When I first tried to load up Roobet.com, I got a message apologizing. “Sorry,” it read, “Roobet isn’t available in your region.” Gambling tends to fall into legal gray areas around the world, and that applies on the Internet, too. I tried again with a VPN, getting a little bit further into the website but still getting cut off. Finally, I was able to load up the joint when I chose a VPN server in Canada.

Technically, you’re only supposed to play with Roobet from certain parts of the world. If you dig into their Terms of Service, you’ll find a bit about how “You have no right to use the services as an anonymizing proxy,” and goes on to say you can potentially have your account closed and your winnings gobbled up if you use a VPN.

That said, I did some digging around on message boards, and it sounds like this is a CYA (Cover Your Ass) policy; as far as I can tell, nobody has actually been banned for using a VPN. While it’s technically against the rules, you can easily use a VPN to use Roobet from anywhere in the world. If you’re unfamiliar with the process or the apps, check out my list of the Best VPN Sites here at ThePornDude.

Be careful about withdrawing and depositing directly from a big, popular bitcoin wallets like Coinbase or Cash App, who can potentially close your account if you’re not supposed to be gambling. Many Roobet users recommend shuffling crypto through a hot wallet like BRD or Exodus for a little added protection from watchful eyes. As always with bitcoin, it’s ultimately up to you to understand the risks and rewards that are inherent even when you’re not dropping tokens into a virtual slot machine.

Getting Inside and Peeping the Rewards

Registration was super quick and easy. You’ll have to confirm your email address before you can really get playing, but they let you in the door right away. There’s also an instant sign-up button that’ll get you set up with your Google or Steam credentials. Next, you’ll want to click that Deposit button at the top of the front page.

You can’t actually buy crypto from Roobet, so you’ll have to get it somewhere else. They offer a few recommendations to get you started if you don’t already have a wallet somewhere. If you already do have some BTC stashed away, you can send some to one of the addresses provided. They’ve got QR codes if you want to feel all futuristic, or you could just copy and paste the address like I did.

Currently, Roobet.com accepts Bitcoin, Etherium and Litecoin. Crypto’s all in its infancy, so I won’t be surprised if these change at some point. I don’t think Bitcoin is ever going to disappear, but none of the others have caught on with the same kind of popularity. I know the Reddit neckbeards are probably breathing all over Roobet to start accepting Dogecoin if for no other reason than they love the fucking memes.

If you’re hard up, they do have some offers to get you started for free. Under the deposit menu, check out the FREE tab on the far right. The Promo code I found online was bunk and probably earned some dipshit some bullshit points, but you can fill out Surveys to get some real free credits. As anyone who’s tried a surveys-for-prizes scheme will tell you, your mileage will vary all over the fucking place, but it’s an alternative for stay-at-home moms who don’t want to sell MLM to fund their gambling addiction.

They also have a rewards system for regular users. It’s level-based, and you move up based on your total wagers. You need to wager at least $500 to get to level one of the Weekly Cash Back reward with cash bonuses and increased lossback percentage from the prior week. The Monthly Bonus rewards are similar, but you’ve got to wager a grand to be eligible. I guess you’d better start spending some money, huh?

I showed up to the party just a little too late for the Roo’s $100,000 Eggstravaganza. The Easter-themed promotion let players spend ten bucks per raffle ticket, with four winners splitting the big grand prize. I’m a sucker for seasonal promotions, at least when the payouts are big. It beats dinner at grandma’s, that’s for sure.

Classic Casino Games and Nerdy Gamer Shit

While they don’t have all the hookers you’d find hanging around the tables in Vegas, Roobet.com offers a nice range of traditional casino games and more modern, Internet-based games. I took a look at their slots section first, and holy shit, there are over 1200 virtual slot games to play. They come in every theme and style, from cowboy train robbers to Viking raiders to the classic fruit machines your grandparents used to play.

Their classic table games include Blackjack, Baccarat, Roulette and Dice. I was a little surprised not to see video poker on the list, since the game is a perennial favorite among gamblers. Hell, the high-stakes games are fun to watch on TV, even if you ain’t risking a dime yourself.

Speaking of watching, they’ve got a handful of gameshow-based games like Mega Wheel, Monopoly, Lightning Roulette and Deal or No Deal. I spent some time that last one, and while the host lacked the charisma of the real Howie Mandel, I liked the live, multiplayer gameplay format.

One of the more popular games on Roobet is one called Crash. Basically, you’re just trying to let the rocket get as high as it can and cash out before it ultimately crashes. It’s deceptively simple and way more addictive than you might imagine. In other words, you can make or lose a lot of money really fast.

Cheap Thrills and Fat Payouts

I ended up blowing all my lunch money on Roobet’s Mines game, which is pretty much the online casino version of that old Windows Minesweeper game. I used to click that old shit randomly until it all blew up, but it’s a totally different game when there are actual stakes involved. You don’t have to clear the board, though you’ll win more and more money by coming dangerously close to exploding.

Ultimately, Roobet.com is a site that you need to be careful on, which can be seen as a sign of a good online casino. It’s dangerous because it’s so much fun, lighting up the winning parts of your brain just like gambling in a smokey casino with a drunk hooker trying to sell you a beej, you big spender. It’s enough grownup fun that I thought it was worth a review here at ThePornDude, where normally I just talk about lesbians eating each other out and teens doing their first gangbang.

Aside from the usual concerns about responsible gaming that come up when you talk about any casino, online or off, my biggest problem with Roobet.com is just that it’s technically unavailable in many parts of the world. You can get in with a VPN, and while they have a huge userbase who does this without issue, you could theoretically end up in hot water in certain parts of the world.

Well, gambling’s all about risk, isn’t it? Whether you need to sneak in sideways or they welcome you in with open arms, Roobet offers plenty of entertainment for anybody willing to risk some of that precious cryptocurrency for the chance to win even more. Take a look around at the games and that endless scroll of winners and winnings at the bottom of the page. I think you’ll know right away whether Roobet is your type of place or not.